A Conversation

Naomi rejoiced slightly at the thought of leaving the bar with him. She told herself she just wanted an excuse to leave the awkward place, without admitting that she was having a little more fun than the last time. Perhaps, one could get used to the bar scene.

Lucas was on his phone, waiting for Naomi to say her goodbyes. As they walked down the stairs, Lucas posed her a question about the attractiveness of overalls. What a strange question, Naomi thought, and chuckled as she made her best attempt to defend the women fashion industry. They debated back and forth, and touched on several different topics just on fashion alone – overalls, crop tops, high waisted jeans/ shorts, skinny jeans/tops, expensive suits and work clothes. She wouldn’t call it intellectually charged, but it felt comfortable, easy and exciting all in one. It was as if all the stars were right.

Some people might consider astronomy a pile of BS, but the way Naomi looked at it, it was one of the sciences that might explain the way we, our personalities and compatibility work. We may each be thought of as a unique snowflake, but categorizing humans in terms of generations, zodiacs, personality tests (DisC test..) and cultures was historically done to learn more about ourselves and our society.

One should of course not negate the quality of astronomical explanations online. Not all websites were created equal and some might be more speculative and emotional than analytical. Of course, on such an arbitral concept as human behaviors and attraction, one should always be discerning. To what extent it should be taken as the whole truth, or with a grain of salt, was a spectrum Naomi liked to pick and choose from.

The conversation was now extended to Lucas’ girlfriend. Naomi tried hard to be impartial and took her side on several instances. Yet, she couldn’t help but pick up the helpless tone in his voice. Naomi did not know why she was trying to mitigate and repair the relationship for him. It certainly wasn’t in her best interests. But she wouldn’t be true to herself if she hadn’t, and she sincerely cared for him. At certain moments, she thought about how eerily similar his girlfriend was to her, but only in terms of physical attributes. 

She wanted, on numerous occasions, to tell Lucas they matched perfectly. It was written in the stars. And it was not just on paper, in words, or in imagination. They clicked on so many levels, just like the way she clicked with the best of her friends. She used to, childishly, think that love could be maintained with physical attraction. Maybe it could, she could definitely stare into Lucas’ eyes for eternity. But she now knew it wouldn’t be enough. She would starve for that intellectual conversation about the things she cared about, or have someone be amazed at the new silly fun facts she would read up and share. That, was the kind of chemistry she craved.

Lucas now asked for her significant other. She was stumped for an answer. What should she say? That it was always unrequited? That creepy people approached her because she was “Asian”, “pretty”? – which she had never seen in herself. So she jokingly said no one liked her and she was not destined to find someone until her 40s. Lucas then became rifled up and made a whole list of why someone would like her – nice, kind..after a while Naomi stopped listening. Those characteristics did not sound like her. Or maybe she should start giving herself some credit for who she was. 

She does not know love, but in friendship terms, she knows it will last when you can see someone’s flaws yet still accept them wholeheartedly. And to bring in knowledge from her college classes, a “soulmate” is ultimately an extension of oneself. Something then slipped out unintentionally. It is all too early to say, for fate likes to tempt and play. Lucas might not remember it the next day, but it was one conversation Naomi folded into a tiny square and stored in her memory box. 

*Any similarity to real life was unintended.

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