Feeling really stressed right now because because my first GMAT test is tomorrow. IMPENDING DOOM. I’m so not prepared at all and wish I can turn back the time to work harder.

I spent 1 week in Arizona for tax conference, flew back continue internship, ended internship and flew off to Florida Disney World for Launch. Disney was amazing, but about that another time. In this span of time, I also had to complete an online internship class as part of the CPT requirements because the only way international students can do an off-campus internship (other that OPT – which is after graduation) is to register for a class such that we are authorized to work. So I ended Launch with still a ton of homework to complete. I tried to squeeze in some time here and there to study for GMAT but the only real block of time I had was this week, which could definitely be more productive…

Since Primary 6 PSLE, I haven’t been very good at standardized testing because my focus was always everywhere else instead of sticking to a rigid routine daily. I would always be preoccupied with something, be it leadership responsibilities, project work, cca, piano lessons, competitions or spending chunks of time crafting for people I love. And then add in internet = who has time for studying? Is it very telling that I’m jack of all trades, master of none? I’m probably very well developed in most aspects, and got by with pretty good grades without studying a ton in high school. And then JC came and my confidence plummeted. So bye bye to my A Levels. I did end up with a decent/good SAT score to attend Hofstra with a good scholarship, but I’ve always envied those with scores over 2100. I wonder if I had more time or if I wasn’t working so much, would I have been able to obtain that score?

I don’t know why GMAT matters so much to me now, than any of the previous standardized testing. Is it because it’s the last chance to prove to myself that with some discipline, hard work and some brain matter, I could get a good score? I don’t know, and it’s probably too late to lament on this for tomorrow’s test. I’d probably want to take a second test later on, but somehow I still wished a miracle would happen for tomorrow.

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