My mind is clouded by many thoughts lately. Mostly worry, about things I can’t control. Or can I? What are my priorities? I miss you, and I constantly worry about losing you to health ailments that keep coming our way. What do I really have without the both of you?

I find myself being stuck in this weird place again, in which I’m neither here nor there. We talked about migration in class today, but didn’t get to cover the identity issue much. When you are stuck in between, losing the past but not progressing much, trying to hold on to old memories and traditions while trying to develop new ones. I feel so lost, in this amass of people that I want to identify with, but can’t. I’m constantly drifting, and can’t seem to find solid ground.

I look at the refugee situation worsening and getting slightly better. But how much better? Even with relocation, they are still traumatized. They’ve still lost their homes and everything they’ve worked for…or worse, people they’ve loved. Countries accept them, but not with open arms. The “refugee” label identifies them now, and restricts their job search and other living conditions. They are not doctors, not teachers, not students, not anymore, just displaced. Pressure will be on them to assimilate into foreign cultures. What if they don’t want to learn a new language? They can’t afford not to, choice is a privilege. I look at their desolate states, cry at their stories, and go back to being sad, reading more news and not doing anything.

As winter rolls around, I feel myself slipping away once more.


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