How.

It’s funny how sorrow takes over your mind and your body. Maybe it’s not even sorrow at all. Maybe I’m just mourning for a loss that happened too long ago. It’s difficult to stay optimistic when you feel the dread in your bones and you head to a house and not a home. It makes me fear, that I’ll never have the capacity to love, for all I’ve witnessed is how it ruins you. I escape, to run from the problem, because you either stay or leave. To leave, will result in the D word that separates families. I’m afraid, will cripple me. Maybe I’ll turn out different, that I can walk away still daring to love. The glass that shattered can be replaced. But the tape is a constant reminder that it has been broken before. The more I look at it, the more pain I feel. Just break me, like how you broke our table.

How, do you have the courage to stay all this while? How can you put up with being treated so badly nobody can stand to watch? How do you keep screaming and shouting to keep this hopeless thing going without breaking down? If I were in your shoes, I would have left a long time ago. Some people are not meant to be married and have a family. They could care less. Please don’t let me end up with someone like him. This circle of life I despise. Truly, a house is not a home.  

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